A New Way for Mothers by Louise Webster [Book Summary – Review]

Let’s be realistic. Our society’s place of work wasn’t made for working mothers. In the present years, some workers have tried to be more welcoming; however, the majority of them still want mothers to work full-time. Aside from this, mothers normally experience naive stereotypes that regard motherhood as not compatible with the professional field. 

All thanks to social obstacles such as these, mothers who take a break to take care of a child usually find it hard to reintegrate into employment. This has to change. Mothers symbolize a wealth of gift that, at the moment, is untapped. However, how do you use this gift without compromising on the caregiving?

By looking more into the stereotypes of motherhood, these book chapters will reveal to you that having kids doesn’t imply that you have to put your life on pause, that mothers really make for great workers and business leaders, and that mothers can accomplish career success without skimping on their parenting.

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Chapter 1 – Motherhood can assist you to rebuild your profession based on your values.

Frequently, women have to sideline their personal values if they want to flourish in male-dominated workplaces.

This was definitely the case for the author when she worked in public relations. She’d usually put support, collaboration, and kindness, above competitive practices. However, in that work surrounding, these values were regarded as weaknesses. Therefore, like a good worker, she gently put them out of sight.

However, this caused a detachment between her personal identity as well as her work identity. Working toward aims she didn’t trust in and working on values she didn’t accept with, she started to feel like a ventriloquist’s dummy being controlled by another person’s hand.

She’d gotten really brainwashed about the nine-to-five habit that she believed this misalignment was okay. Everybody is not satisfied at work, right? 

She then became a mother, and her viewpoint changed totally. 

One of the utmost rewards of those first few years of motherhood was the manner it completely deprogrammed the old nine-to-five approach. As a matter of fact, those years were really hectic that they forced her to remove very much all insignificant activity from her life in order for her to channel her whole energy on supporting her child. 

For the first time in the author’s life, she learned the pleasure of working in alignment with one’s values. She liked taking care of someone’s else life. It only seemed right.

A few years after, she chose to step back into the professional field. However, similar to a lot of women who turn into mothers, she didn’t wish to go back to her former lifestyle. Motherhood had offered her a chance to rebuild her profession, and she desired to work toward a thing she believed in. Therefore, she took her love of mothering into her work.

She created a website known as beyondtheschoolrun, which is committed to connecting mothers and helping their search for satisfying work. Due to the fact that she built her business in an aspect that she really cares about, she loves her job, workflows naturally, and it connects really well with her care work. Now, beyondtheschoolrun is a successful business with a flourishing online community.

The key point is, work isn’t only about paying the bills. If we wish to accomplish actual success and fulfillment in our work, it needs to fit with our values. This is the reason why the first step on your career journey is finding what actually matters to you.

Chapter 2 – Mothers make fantastic workers as well as business leaders.

Why is it that society begins to treat women differently the moment they turn into mothers? 

For instance, have you ever observed, that waiters and cashiers will normally direct payment questions to the father while disregarding the mother? It’s just naturally believed that dad is in charge of the family finances.

Also, to take a different illustration, fathers are much more likely to be questioned about what they do for a living than mothers. Even if a woman is a full-time caregiver, she barely gets questioned what she did before turning into a mother or what her plan is afterward.

Regular social clues such as these betoken a prevalent expectation: as soon as a woman becomes a mother, her career is finished. It is assumed that motherhood is not compatible with the professional field.

Individuals might intend any harm when they believe a mother is a full-time caregiver. However, this kind of assumption can be very belittling, as the author understands from her personal experience.

One time, while she was heading to an important appointment, two men assisted the author to raise her child’s stroller onto a train, and they questioned her where she was going shopping. She was really shocked by the assumption that she is definitely going to do shopping since she’s a mother that she didn’t feel like saying to them she was really off to Downing Street to talk to the prime minister’s advisor.

Mothers who experience disempowering assumptions about their lack of career prospects are, ultimately, going to feel disempowered. However, what is the reason why society assumes mothers are not suited to the place of work? Nevertheless, motherhood is a very difficult, formative, and empowering experience that fortifies women with a lot of beneficial skills.

For instance, motherhood teaches women how to plan their time for maximum efficiency, how to reason and plan for the long-term, and how to make use of support as well as form community networks. These whole things are important business skills.

Rather than being treated as less capable, mothers have to be appreciated by businesses for their flexibility, perseverance, as well as incredible work ethic. More than that, mothers must understand that it’s possible to form a successful business or a flourishing career in spite of the burdens of motherhood. As a matter of fact, if you can bring up a child, you can possibly run a business as well!

Chapter 3 – We can learn from kids how to revive our natural gift.

We have a tendency to think that the older we become, the more gifted we get. However, in reality, it’s the other way around. 

As kids, we’re extremely creative and flexible. We can apply ourselves to new activities and learn new skills easily. However, as we become older and start to concentrate on a narrower variety of interests, we lose touch with our natural abilities.

Ironically, one of the causes of this is education. As we advance through school, we are taught that we’re good at some things and we are not good at other things. However, limiting beliefs such as “I’m no good at math” or “I can’t sing” can hinder us from trying out new skills or learn new hobbies, a pattern that can exceed into adult life. Adults who are not satisfied with their profession think to themselves, “Well, it’s really late for me to change path now” – also, with that mental shrug, they don’t even make any attempt! 

However, we can change our beliefs. For instance, the author was told several that she couldn’t write. In school, she got bad grades in English. Also, she lost an early job at a PR agency since she was told she couldn’t write. However, she decided not to be discouraged and rather continued practicing. Take a look at her now! She’s published in one of Britain’s top newspapers the Guardian, and she has also written a book.

We have to go back to that freer time before limiting ideas set in – that period when we would attempt anything and do anything that seemed right. Luckily, mothers are in a better position to revive this youthful spirit since they have great role models – their kids.

Yes, that’s correct; mothers have to learn from their kids. Also, the first thing they have to learn is how to be fearless once again. For instance, motivated by how effortlessly her kid could talk in front of strangers, the author volunteered to do a presentation publicly. Similar to a lot of, she had usually avoided public speaking, scared that she’d disgrace herself. However, as soon as she eventually ripped off the Band-Aid and got to that stage, she felt elated and understood she had a skill for public speaking nevertheless.

Therefore, just continue attempting things, and very soon, you’ll unlock abilities you never knew you possessed.

Chapter 4 – Mothers have to make the most of their parent network for support.

To the author, motherhood looked like the perfect plan. She’d get the chance to leave her hectic business life. She’d have the chance to do her whole work from home. Also, she’d have the liberty to use her time concentrating on what she actually cared about – taking care of her newborn baby.

However, that picture-perfect future life never happened. When she left the city to bring up her family, she started to miss the city. She missed her social group, which had offered her assistance and comfort. She had a lot of stress-free time to spend with her kid–however, she felt lonely and sad as well. 

This experience isn’t a unique one. A lot of new mothers state feeling isolated during the first few years of motherhood. Also, isolation isn’t a good thing for maternal health. This is the reason why the first thing you have to do when you feel isolated is to admit that you require support.

Support can appear in a lot of various forms that we usually don’t identify it when we see it. It could be as easy as getting credit for your work, or motivation to push on with a concept. Or it could be another person watching after your children; therefore, you get some time to yourself. 

In the author’s situation, she had the means to know something vital: if being a mother had the ability to detach her from her old community, it most likely had the ability to assist her to form a new one.

How did she achieve this? She allowed her kid to form a network for her. Kids form bonds regularly and easily; therefore, anytime she saw her kid had made a new friend, she would become friends with that kid’s parents. By forming a network of parents in this manner, the author successfully formed a support network of individuals with related needs. This network-assisted her to unlock additional time for work during the week when her kids were playing at the house of a friend.

The good thing about a community of parents is that they appear from all walks of life and have various experiences and professions. It’s by making the most of her parent network that the author manages a successful company now.

 Chapter 5 – Family life as well as business life has to be in harmony with each other.

Initially, it can be a bit disorienting to alternate really frequently between your duty as a parent and your duty as a businessperson. No wonder that new mothers at times arrive at vital work meetings with a bag full of baby wipes instead of a laptop.

The best method to fix this disorientation is to keep these two aspects of maternal life separate and distinct. If you don’t do that, you might see yourself in the unpleasant circumstance of being bothered about work when you’re with your kids and concerned about the kids when you’re at your place of work.

To differentiate these two aspects of your life, the first thing you have to do is create your own committed workspace in the home – preferably a place out of bounds for the children. That doesn’t imply that you need to work at home all the time. It only implies there’s usually a place where you can fit in some work when you have the time.

The second thing you have to do is structure your week by following a routine. Individuals who work in an office have a structure built-in. It’s easy– you do your work when you’re in the office and you don’t do work when you’re not in the office. However, when you work from your house, you’ve got to form a structure in order for your duty as a parent, and your duty as a professional stay separate. A routine will make sure that you understand which hours of the day belong to which duty. 

Attempt to keep your work on weekdays and rest a but during the weekend. Likewise, on Monday, attempting to plan a weekly activity; this assists to set the mood for the workweek. For instance, the author starts each workweek by making a video blog for her website. This implies she usually enters the week with a sense of momentum.

Preferably, both aspects of a working mother’s life – the personal and the professional –have to work in harmony, each making you revitalized and fresh for the other. The best means to accomplish harmony is to totally align your work schedule with your kid’s school calendar. This will assist make your needs in sync with your kid; you work when they work, you eat when they eat, and, most significantly, go on a holiday when they go on a holiday.

Chapter 6 – Forming equality among partners is vital for everyone.

If you’re a mother, you most likely think of yourself as the major caregiver. Mothers have a tendency to see fathers as, at best, semi-competent assistant parents.

Even when spouses begin a family with egalitarian ideals – where nobody needs to leave their career, and both parents are both partaking in caregiving – the majority of responsibility usually goes to the mother.

The issue is a lot of barriers that hinder parents from living based on their values. The first barrier among them is the expectation from the place of work that fathers are going to be the major provider. Due to this, although the father is usually entitled to as much parental leave as the mother, he’ll rarely take as much, for fear of looking undedicated to his work.

As a result of this initial imbalance of time spent together with the baby, mothers get more competent with the fundamentals of childcare, basically due to the fact that they get more practice. Due to that, the father usually defers to the mother, which buttresses the pattern of the primary and secondary parent.

To even make the situation worse, some mothers partake in what’s called maternal gatekeeping. This is means a mother, seeing the father as less competent, will deliberately restrict his duties and access to the kids. Even though these mothers have good purposes, this is counterproductive, since it hinders fathers from knowing how to parent for themselves.

Therefore, bear in mind: even though it looks like a bad thing to give the father more duty, this is the best approach for him to improve his parenting abilities. Also, the more time he uses with the kids, the more hours the mother will get for work.

Also, it’s good for your kid’s growth to give them personal time with their father. Various studies reveal that kids gain from bonding with both parents and from experiencing various parenting approaches.

Another means to involve the father is to leave certain duties just for only for him. If he works in the day, then perhaps he can be in charge of bathing the kid or storytime before bed, providing mom some regular time off. 

Bear in mind, the care work you dedicate assists your father to accomplish his career goals; therefore, it’s only fair that he as well dedicates time in to assist you to accomplish yours.

A New Way for Mothers: A Revolutionary Approach for Mothers to Use Their Skills and Talents While Their Children Are at School by Louise Webster Book Review

Mothers are a remarkably talented group of individuals with a lot to give to business as well as the community. But, all thanks to various structural barriers and outdated stereotypes, mothers can find it difficult to reintegrate into the professional field. However, there is a way. By chasing what they love, planning their life around the kids, and surrounding themselves with a community that is supportive, mothers can accomplish career success in the hours available to them and live a  contented and joyful life.

Form your career story!

The process of developing a career or a business is a life-changing path of discovery and personal development. However, it can as well be an overwhelming outlook. Where would you even start? The first step on your path is to develop a long-term vision and plan for the future. That implies you have to know where you wish to end up, and then determine how to take the steps that will make you get to your destination. Which skills do you have to learn, which experiences might be beneficial for you, and which communities do you need to connect with? Attempt developing a visualization around your career, where you obviously plan your journey into a range of little, manageable steps.

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Savaş Ateş

I'm a software engineer. I like reading books and writing summaries. I like to play soccer too :) Good Reads Profile: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/106467014-sava-ate

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