In order to make the most of career potential, you have to improve your people skills. Even though you’re a strategy expert or tech genius, if you wish to climb the business ladder, you will how to understand how to communicate with people, might be workers, investors or clients.
Also, the skills of people are only at the start. In order to cope in this contemporary working life, you as well will have to be an expert self-manager, capable of controlling your feelings– even under fire.
Hence, nowadays, success relies mostly on having powerful levels of emotional intelligence, or EQ. What enables you to form strong associations is strong EG and not just with other people alone; however, with yourself too. These book chapters offer proven methods for you to practice what it needs to become more emotionally intelligent.
Chapter 1 – This is emotional intelligence: understand yourself; act yourself; know other people; form relationships.
Some people are especially good at understanding body language, some are able to judge at a look of what a person is thinking – and react for that reason. They can soothe a coworker who’s furious, or reassure a friend who’s worried.
What is the reason why specific people are really good at this? The answer lies in emotional intelligence or EQ.
Emotional intelligence is the skill to identify and know your own feelings and the feelings of other people and influence those feelings to your edge. Someone who’s very good at “reading” other people possesses high emotional intelligence.
EQ fuses four various features.
The first feature is self-awareness or the skill to know your own feelings and actions.
The second feature is self-management. Self-management is essentially about keeping yourself in circumstances whereby you are aware you’ll be able to act appropriately.
Social awareness is the third feature. As soon as you understand how to deal with your behavior and know your feelings, you’ll understand how to read other people’s feelings. You’ll know the reason that makes people feel annoyed, sad or happy; also, you’ll be able to read body language more.
The last feature is relationship management. Know your own behavior as well as the behavior of people around you makes you form stronger relationships with the significant people that are present in your life.
For instance, if you understand that one of your colleagues becomes upset when he’s criticized, you’ll understand how to provide feedback that he’ll be able to react well.
Let’s examine the four features of emotional intelligence. Read on to know!
Chapter 2 – Develop your self-awareness by learning to understand yourself – the good side, the bad side, and the ugly side.
How well do you understand yourself?
You might identify the kinds of things you like or don’t like; however, self-awareness is way beyond that. It’s essentially about profoundly knowing your feelings, in order for you not to become overwhelmed by them.
It’s significant to know the reason why you feel the way you do, as well as when you’re angry or upset. You being in a bad mood doesn’t essentially signify that you need to have a bad day.
Perhaps you forget your briefcase at home, spilled coffee on your desk or had an issue making your coworkers stay on task. During days such as these, you might begin to have a negative feeling about everything and even flare up at little things – which basically makes things worse.
When you see that you are in a bad mood, just bear in mind that those kinds of feelings do go. Whatsoever has made you be in a bad mood can’t probably be the end of the world; therefore, why overreact?
Don’t lose focus of your self-awareness on good days too. When we are in a good mood, we have a tendency to rush into things recklessly.
For instance, assuming your best store is having a sale with discounts of 75%. It is likely that you might want to run in and purchase all the things you see there!
During that moment, your excitement suppresses your other feelings. You might fail to remember to pause and question yourself if you truly want those the things you’re purchasing– and your good mood would possibly become sour soon when those credit card bills come due!
Therefore, when you are happy, check yourself and think twice– don’t make reckless choices just because you’re caught up in the moment.
Bear in mind to always think of what the repercussions of your behaviors.
Chapter 3 – In order to cultivate better self-management, you have to balance your emotional and logical aspects.
A lot of us find it hard to control ourselves. When we attempt to gain control, we usually become distracted if how we feel inside drives us to behave differently. Also, we have a tendency to give up if things begin to become really rough.
A significant aspect of getting high emotional intelligence is Good self-management.
One beneficial tool when you’re confronted with a hard choice is to have an emotion versus reason list.
Draw a table that has two columns. You jot down what your emotions are telling you to do in the first column; and in the second column, you write down what your logical reasoning tells you to do. This exercise assists you to balance each aspect and prevents one from ruling the other.
Check which list has the stronger points. Are your emotions clouding your decision? Are there loopholes in your reasoning?
Assuming you have to decide whether to sack a worker. His work isn’t up to standard, still, you like him so much as a person. This is a good chance to create an emotion versus reason list.
A different good self-management tool is telling your relatives and friends about your aims. Your loved ones can do more to inspire you and assist you to stay on track.
If you say to your friends what you wish to achieve, they’ll hold you responsible, and that can be a good source of motivation. You don’t want to disappoint your friends, nevertheless!
A professor regularly found it hard to meet deadlines and chose to make a change. His self-management approach: he said to his colleagues that he’d pay them $100 anytime he missed a deadline! Definitely, he changed his behavior for the good.
Chapter 4 – Eyes, shoulders, and mouth communicate a lot. Learn to read the signs to understand what to utter best.
Some waiters usually appear to understand the needs of a customer. They automatically know the customers that want to be left alone, or who wants company or special care.
Those kinds of people possess a high level of social intelligence. For you to become more socially aware, there are two things that you have to think of.
The first thing to do, observe a person’s body language to understand what he’s feeling and plan your reactions according to that.
Begin with a head-to-toe body language evaluation. First, look at the eyes, as they give away lots of emotional signs. For instance, a lot of blinking might specify deception. Then proceed to the mouth. Is the smile real or fake? Only real smiles appear as really sympathetic.
After that, look at the person’s shoulders. Are they slouched, or tight? Shoulders can show shyness or self-confidence.
As soon as you’ve read the message communicated by a person’s body, familiarize yourself with it. If a person is annoyed, then, that is not a good time to disturb him with questions – wait till his mood gets better.
Secondly, ensure to greet a person by their name. By doing that, it helps you seem like kind and reliable. People that have high social awareness normally don’t refer to others as “Sir” or “Mr. So-and-so.” Rather, they make an attempt to know people’s first names.
Calling a person by his first name will improve your relationship with them. You can learn so much about a person from their name (such as family background or identity if they have a nickname).
Make use of this understanding to improve your relationship and make the person feel appreciated.
Chapter 5 – Don’t send mixed messages. Ensure your body language is in tune with what you say.
Have you ever assured a friend to keep in contact who them after they moved to a different town? Most of the time, those kinds of promises are easily not fulfilled. What occurs in these circumstances?
Well, relationships need much time and work to keep – and the majority of us just can’t commit.
Still, the ability to form strong relationships is a significant aspect of emotional intelligence. Therefore, how can you form and keep them effective?
First of all, notice your own body language to ensure you aren’t giving mixed messages. Your body, voice, and action send lots of information; therefore, in order to avoid confusing other people, ensure that what your body is saying is clear. It’s annoying and confusing to get mixed signals!
Assuming you want to congratulate your workers for good work; however, you’re sad due to the reason that you had a fight with your wife that morning. If you rumble through your speech while frowning your face, your compliments won’t look genuine. Your body language, as well as your voice, doesn’t fit with your message.
Another significant feature for building future relationships is to receive feedback from the people that are already present in your life. Feedback is important if you wish to improve your relationships, still, it’s usually difficult to reply to feedback well.
We usually take feedback seriously or basically disregard it – who really likes being criticized? Still, learn to accept constructive criticism by telling yourself that the person giving the criticism is actually just looking out for what is best for us. Attempt to make use of the feedback to develop yourself.
And do not forget to thank anybody who offers you useful feedback. Show your loved ones that you appreciate them all the time!
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves Book Review
You can enhance your level of emotional intelligence or EQ. Concentrate on knowing and managing your own feelings and actions first; afterward, create your relationships by focusing on body language and referring to people in a personal manner. Balance your feeling with rational thinking, and do not stop attempting to develop yourself with feedback. When you possess high emotional intelligence, you don’t only relate better to others – you’ll cope with yourself better, as well.
Pay attention actively.
Paying attention to other people’s thoughts and reading their feelings is a vital aspect of having a high EQ. Therefore, pay rapt attention when you listen – it’ll provide you with more understanding into a person’s mind and express that you care about her feelings.