Many of us are trying to take good training, we think this is the only road to have a good salary. However, one of the most significant describers of professional success is emotional intelligence that there is one more thing you can study out of school.
This summary will show you how to increase your emotional intelligence and guide you on how to become a better leader, colleague, or partner. It will also show you how you can develop your happiness with awareness.
The fundamental principle behind the methodology has a three-step approach: First, you need to improve your capacity to direct your attention when you see appropriate, and attention meditation is very beneficial for doing so. Thanks to this advanced attention, you can develop your knowledge by understanding your cognitive and sensory operations better. Finally, by building on this basis, you can create good mental habits that will allow you to enhance your welfare and effectiveness.
Chapter 1 – One of the many different types of intelligence is emotional intelligence.
What do you think is intelligence? Owning a high IQ? Excellent language talents? or Having about musical abilities?
The first person who suggests the theory of multiple intelligence, was Howard Gardner, an improvement psychologist at Harvard. He discussed that a child who does not have talents in mathematics but who demonstrates language or art skills should still be acceptable clever.
To show his argument, a list of different kinds of intelligence that included among other things, interpersonal intelligence, and interpersonal intelligence was prepared by Gardner. The meaning of having interpersonal intelligence is to realize your inner senses, worth, and targets. That is, interpersonal intelligence involves being hip to others’ feelings, senses, and motivations.
It combines to create interpersonal and interpersonal intelligence, emotional intelligence, the ability to understand the emotions and feelings of yourself and others, and the ability to use this information to lead your moves and notions.
Emotional intelligence was divided into five categories by the writer of the book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman:
● The first one is self-awareness. Knowledge of your inner state and preferences, resources, and intuition are in it.
● The second one is self-regulation. The ability to control your impulses, resources, and mood is in the self-regulation category.
● The third one is motivation. The emotional ability to lead yourself towards your goals is in it.
● Empathy is the fourth one, and your awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns are in the empathy category.
● The last category is social skills, and your ability to influence others is in it.
So, what are the utilities of emotional cleverness?
Let’s look at how Bill Duane, who is the engineering boss, used emotional intelligence education to improve his life.
Thanks to her emotional intelligence education, Duane was aware that he required more time for himself and decreased his workdays to four per week. As working less than a day, he had more time to focus on his welfare and motivated to do more while doing less. He became a better listener, discovered how to organize his anger, and see cases from different perspectives. As a result, Duane not only enhanced his life but also improved the lives of those who worked for him.
Chapter 2 – Now, you learn what emotional intelligence is. Let’s make pressure to see completely how beneficial it can be in your daily life.
By putting it into practice, emotional intelligence can significantly enhance your business performance.
At present, you know what emotional intelligence is, so, move on to the next step, and the second step will show you how it can aid you and how it can be enhanced.
One of the advantages of improving your emotional intelligence is that it can provide better job performance. For instance, as shown in a study by American psychologist Martin Seligman in the 1980s, a higher level of motivation that is one of the five categories of emotional intelligence, has been said to increase optimism, which will increase your performance in the workplace. He discovered that optimistic insurance agents performed 8 percent and 31 percent better than their pessimistic colleagues the following year. The study shows that emotional competencies like optimism can have a significant impact on worker performance.
With the help of comprehending and owning emotional intelligence, you can be a better leader.
To give a good instance, Delta Airlines CEO Gerald Grinstein, who faces the difficult task of reducing costs at work could be said. Although Grinstein was difficult, thanks to his interpersonal skills, he was able to keep the loyalty and motivation of his employees high during this difficult period. He realized the importance of incurring a positive working era, restoring effective keeping in touch, and constructing trust.
But naturally, even if you don’t have high emotional intelligence like Grinstein, don’t be upset because it can be learned to improve it, even though they have low emotional intelligence.
An example in this regard is Ebenezer Scrooge, who was the character from A Christmas Carol of Charles Dickens. Initially, Scrooge shows nominal levels of interpersonal emotional intelligence, and it cannot make him happy although his wealth. As you probably remember, three ghosts each of whom want to resist their weak awareness visited Scrooge. Finally, as accepting his thoughts and actions, Scrooge was succeeded to develop his emotional intelligence.
Your emotional intelligence can be raised even if there is no help from supernatural guests. Let’s see some real-world technical pieces of stuff about how you can be successful.
Chapter 3 – With the concentration of meditation, relaxation and alertness are developed, and thanks to it, we are happier.
Although meditation looks like a charming thing, it’s not more than a mental exercise. Just as many training pieces of equipment in the gym are designed to work out different muscles, various types of meditation are planned to exercise various parts of your mind.
The definition of mindful meditation or mindfulness can be given as the best mental education to enhance emotional intelligence. Thanks to education both our mindfulness and meta attention, our concentration is developed.
William James who was a psychologist in the late nineteenth century described attention as “taking ownership of the mind openly and vividly”.
On the contrary, the “attention of attention” is meta attention. What you can do is pay attention or notice when your attention has changed.
For example, think that you’re riding a bike. When you ride a bike, you keep your balance with many micro-recoveries. If the bike bends somehow, you set yourself on the other side, and the opposite version is valid too. Thanks to the realization of these micro recoveries, you will be kept upright and balanced, you will have a soft driving feeling.
The same thing is valid for attention. If you train your meta-attention well, you can bring your attention back to the job at hand whenever you start losing focus. By doing this often, you will have prolonged deep concentrations.
Besides providing better concentration, with the help of attention, your mindfulness will be cleaned and make you more comfortable.
Imagine a bowl of water that is full of sediment, stirring constantly and causing turbidity. As you stop mixing and abandon the bowl alone, the water will calm down and become clear and the precipitate will fall to the bottom.
Alike, if you can calm down your mind, your stresses and worries will fall to the bottom and help you see things more distinctly.
And, by Alan Wallace who is a relaxed concentrated specialist, cleansing your mind with the help of meditation has been said to help achieve natural happiness.
To start mindfulness meditation, you should also find a comfortable sitting position where you feel both comfortable and awake. Start with three slow, deep breaths, and then start breathing naturally. At present, you should be your attention to your breath. To focus on this, you can do it by observing the increase and decrease of your abdomen, or the feelings in your nostrils. If you notice your attention drifting, you should slowly bring it back to your breath. Even if you can do this for ten minutes, it can make you feel like it’s more time.
Chapter 4 – By developing a deeper emotion of self-awareness, you can learn how you would dominate your emotions.
According to Mingyur Rinpoche who is a Buddhist teacher, when you see an acute river right now, he said that you have already been rising upper it. Alike, when you can understand a feeling, you have finished being on its throne.
You require self-awareness to come through your feelings; and whenever you know yourself better, you will be more successful.
In their observations that were made by psychologist Dr. Cary Cherniss and Dr. Robert Caplan, self-awareness training has been shown to aid financial consultants from American Express succeed in their job. Thanks to the training, they discovered to be more aware of inefficient self-talk – negative, self-harming stories that we often say ourselves – and with this awareness, they were permitted to have less suspicion from themselves, and with this, they earnt higher gains for themselves, and they gave better advice more for their customers.
Also, after realizing how they reacted to high-pressure situations, they began to comprehend the importance of anti-stress techniques like meditation. As their stress levels decreased, they could operate with retrieved concentrate and succeeded in their works.
With the help of activating the neocortex or thinking of the brain, self-awareness works.
When you sense like your emotions are about to burst in an unrestricted way, the explosion is analyzed by self-awareness calling the neocortex.
For example, when your boss condemns you for something, you may feel the desire to return to her, but if you think a little bit, and analyzing the situation, your neocortex advises against it. It is wiser to use this part of your brain to develop your business performance, with your rational and calm thinking of your feedback.
Thanks to self-awareness, your self-assured can be also increased. The best instance of this is a writer who uses self-awareness to be self-assured.
He planned his speech at the World Peace Festival in Berlin. When he got there, he used his self-awareness to make him remember his strengths and weaknesses, because of felting majorly nervous. He remembered himself of his information level of wisdom practices in his corporate environment and his talent to build an atmosphere of peace and whimsy.
He also noticed his missing as he focused on words meanwhile talking English, and remembered that he could come through this by concentrating on breathing, smiling, and paying attention.
With this self-awareness, he could have been to sense more comfortable and assured at the festival.
Chapter 5 – Concrete motivators, like a shared goal, protect employee motivation well if it compared with external awards.
It is believed by many managers that external awards like money or bonuses are the best reasons for high performance in the work area.
However, if intangible motivators are compared to concrete ones, intangible ones are more effective in increasing success and profit.
Here is an instance; by the online shoe retailer Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh, his digital store has been evolved into a billion-dollar firm. And providing happiness was the mysterious of Hsieh’s achievement. Based on this morality, Hsieh promoted a working culture that promotes employee happiness, which leads to better client service and, therefore, happier clients.
According to Hsieh, happiness in the workplace is believed to come from three things.
Pleasure is the first one. Such happiness comes from chasing the next summit – for instance, a big bonus, a thank you from your coworkers, a special saying by the vice president, or a tale in the New York Times. The disadvantage is that this kind of happiness does not last long.
Passion is the second resource of felicitousness. If you are passionate about your work, you are in a state of flow – full participation and concentration. It has been reported by humans that they experience different activities, including neurosurgery, filing, and meditation. Besides, passion is much more sustainable than pleasure.
As a result, according to Hsieh, what comes from a bigger aim is happiness. What this is about is being part of something bigger than yourself, and this type is the most sustainable
When it aligns with the aim of your work, it no longer feels like a chore. You know what they say: Whenever you love what you do, you are going to wait to do it each day.
Let’s look at the poet Norman Fischer, who loves his work so much, and he does not think that it is not working. Although Fischer, who was a famous Zen teacher and often worked more than Silicon Valley professionals, he has never labored a day in his vita.
Chapter 6 – The thing that has benefit in both private and professional communications, is empathy.
If you desire to be talented in drawing, you should make practice a lot. The same rule is valid for enhancing your empathy that is a kind of emotional cleverness with many useful properties.
By empathizing with others, not only will you prove to be kind to them and make them feel come through; you will also create trust.
Let’s look at an empathy exercise done by the writer. She heard to his exercise partner with her feelings, and then when she came to end, she said to him that she thought she felt. In the final of the exercise, she burst into tears and realized that this has not been understood for a long time.
Empathy is one of the things that can be used to regulate relationships by helping us manage conflicts with our partners, colleagues, and children. Thanks to using it, you can get a coming through together with helping you solve problems quickly.
The writer used this technique to solve his anger at Eric who is his new manager. When he decided he should take care of the subject, the writer regulated a meeting with Eric to speak about his bad emotions. Meanwhile the meeting, personal things such as life stories and desires were mentioned. Thanks to this conversation, they got to know each other well, and in the end, the writer has started to feel no longer offended.
If you feel that you do not sense empathy for someone, you can give a shot to empathy exercises as “Just Like Me” and “Loving Compassion.”
“Just Like Myself” is waiting for you to comprehend that they want to be happy and loved just like you by imagining yourself in the shoes of the other person.
Loving Kindness that is the second exercise in empathy needs you to make meditation and have positive desires for the others. By wishing the best for someone else, your empathy capacity will increase and your relationship with them will develop.
Chapter 7 – One thing that can lead you to be a better leader is to experience the love of others.
Was it said that what you require to overcome life is to be selfish and buy something for yourself?
You should ignore it, because nothing can be more than the truth, and particularly if you make a plan to being an effective leader.
Because if people love their leaders, they will labor harder.
It was examined by which personal attributes distinguish successful executives from others by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner. In their research, the main differentiator was found to be love. Successful executives show warmth and love towards their workers. Also, on the contrary, low-performing executives, successful executives do not fear to enhance a close relationship or share their thoughts with their teams.
Compassionate leaders are more effective in their work because they will try to alleviate the pain of their employees.
By Jim Collins who was the writer of Built to Last, hundreds of major American firms were researched from 1965 to 1995 and found that leadership is what makes a good company great. Large companies had compassionate, humble leaders who wanted to make a difference in the world.
Because easier time can be owned by merciful leaders to influence others.
Let’ see the famous psychologist Paul Ekman, who had a scary childhood and grew up as an angry adult. In 2000, Ekman received an invitation to speak at the conference with the Dalai Lama. He reached into his hand and sat down with the Dalai Lama holding his hand. The simple movement affected Ekman deeply. He felt “goodness” throughout his whole existence, and at the end of the change, he found his anger diminished and his life worth looking at. Starting from this life-changing moment, it was contributed to scientific research by Ekman with further improving his comprehension of emotional balance, compassion, and sacrifice.
Don’t forget: as you start to discover out happiness and satisfaction in your life and job, start investigating inside yourself.
Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (And World Peace) by Chade-Meng Tan Book Review
All humans own the talent to enhance their lives, and this development can be provided through concentration, mental clarity, creativity, and empathy. By using the prescribed practices and exercises, we can whole become better orators, more optimistic people, calm partners, and abled workers.
Thanks to the body scan exercise, they can help you focus and relax.
As a first step, start by sitting down and closing your eyes, finding a comfortable position to breathe for two minutes. Then, pass every part of your body one by one, focusing on the sensations you find on your head, face, neck, back, front, and shoulders. Are you able to feel a sensation in your body too? Then bring a positive feeling into your mind, with remembering a pleasant event. Then try to find out where the body feels this sensation. Finally, waste two minutes to breathing naturally and return to the present moment.
The reason that body combing is precious is that it allows you to focus on your physical sensations much more than everyday life, and it also makes you relax, which can aid you to fall asleep.