Survival of the Friendliest by Brian Hare [Book Summary – Review]


For lay-people, what defines that the natural globe is all about race is the expression “survival of the most appropriate.” Just the hardest, harshest and most brutal species bring it out alive. However, in Survival Friendship, there is a distinctive point of view: that friends are more important than quarrels.

In this summary, that examining evolutionary history, it is discussed that concentrating solely on brute power and aggression underestimates the significant role of social talents. Indeed, the true reason for human survival can be said such as friendship, family, and community throughout history.

It will be found out by you why evolutionary oppression assists Homo sapiens to get along and how the skill to make friendships and coordinate connections permit us to capture the planet.


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Chapter 1 – It has developed specific cognitive talents by people to assist us to collaborate.


Let’s begin with an enjoyable game: Take two glasses and withhold a surprise or colorful doll under one of them. After that, give the glass to a baby. Guess if they will find the award?

The response is Yes! Well, if you present them a tip. Show the correct glass and watch what occurs. By the age of nine months, most babies may consider this movement as a try to convey something significant. Your fingers will be followed and examined the specified item by them.

Although it might not look great, it is. It indicates that even as kids, it can be realized by people that other individuals can accommodate information and intent beyond themselves. This is called the theory of consciousness (or called a theory of mind) and is one of humankind’s most excellent accomplishments.

Firstly, the theory of mind may look like a fundamental cognitive ability. All in all, it appears clear that other individuals have their ideas, senses, and personal experiences that may be distinct from ours. Nevertheless, this is a more developed idea that we do not share with even our most nearby evolutionary relations.



Make a trial playing the exact two bowl games with a chimpanzee. You will start to feel disappointed. Even if the chimpanzee comprehends that there is nutrition under one of the mugs, they won’t realize that pointing is a beneficial gesticulate. It will be just guessed by them. After playing many times, even though it may be noticed a little bit by the chimpanzee, switch the movement even slightly and return to the head.

Interestingly, the ones who do a little more carefully are the dogs. If you reveal the right mugs, they will generally examine that thing over the other. It persists unclear whether they comprehend the intent of our movements, but at least they follow them inherently.

Why the discrepancy? Dogs are tamed by us. Throughout history, dogs who served our orders have been fed and raised by us. This gave an evolutionary benefit to those who aligned well with the human connection. The animals that did not own this evolutionary force are the chimpanzees; for this reason, they did not develop the cognitive talent to truly grasp our movements.

Therefore, the talent to grasp and communicate with other consciousness is a developed feature. However, this leaves us with the problem: of all the animal kinds in the globe, why do individuals have the most sharpened talent to assume a theory of mind? As it will be seen by us in the following episodes, thanks to evolution, we can find some responses.


Chapter 2 – What is a genetic feature that answers to more excellent conversation skills is friendship.


In 1959, it was transferred from Moscow to the remote Siberian city of Novosibirsk by Dmitry Belyaev who was a geneticist. Here, far away from the suspicious eyes of the Stalin regime, he started a long-period experiment. Now, it can be seen by you as the consequences of his job. You can take them and caress them.

As you can see, a trial to tame foxes was Belyaev’s experiment – and it was successful. It was started with two societies of savage foxes by the scientist. While one group was left alone, others were permitted to have a birth only if they gave proper caution to individuals.

In the progress of time, the two groups separated significantly. While the control group continued as identical, the friendly group enhanced several fresh physical and attitudinal traits.

What has been going on for more than 50 years is Belyaev’s taming experiment. It is kept going to publish even now by Lyudmila Trut who is his protegee. The outcomes are striking. Foxes raised for friendship are quietly different from their untamed equivalents.

Firstly, they look distinctive. Friendly foxes have drooping ears and shorter noses. Their pelage is smoother and appears in a variation of colors and patterns. Also, their teeth are not too keen. They have many features seen in different tamed animals like dogs or pigs. But, none of these features were specially chosen. These are only by-products of intimacy, the basic feature of choice.



Nevertheless, what is not a physical property is the most important side impact of choosing for intimacy. Mental ability is called. The foxes in the friendly group show a much keener ability to connect with people. Providing that you offer savage foxes with two cup tests, about half of them will not be succeeded. In opposition, it can be followed by individual actions to choose the correct cup by friendly foxes. Noteworthily, they protect this talent though they were bred by foxes in the control group.

Due to this variation in talents is unbelievable, it indicates that sociability and conversation abilities are connected to the exact genetic process. Provided that evolutionary force chooses one, it heals the other. In case, what is also seen in different tamed animals like ferrets and Bengal finches is this agreement.

In the following section, it will be considered by us whether this process can happen without personal intervention. Can a species be tamed by itself?


Chapter 3 – What demonstrates the entire obvious symbols of self-taming is the friendly bonobo.


Do you think living between chimpanzees? It might be attractive as a first. Chimpanzee life perhaps consists of lying in the forest and mugging around. Unluckily, the truth is a few less cute.

The community that can be pretty unmercy is chimpanzee society. It is routinely patrolled their territory by male chimpanzees and aggressively assaults those who intervene. Even terribly, it is fiercely attacked by possible mates during the mating season by them. The chimps who are no better are women chimps. They often fought each other and sometimes even destroyed their opponents’ kids.

No, provided that you’re seeing for a more nonviolent primate life, it will be lived better off with the bonobo by you. Although nearly associated with the chimpanzee, this monkey type presents much more friendly and corroborator action.



Therefore, providing that chimpanzee society is severe and competing, what is vita like for bonobos? First, it’s much more comfortable. Most importantly, there is no controversial race over spouses. Instead of males competing for chosen females, females select who to link to and select about everyone. In particular, for bonobos, what is only a general way to socialize is sex actions.

In addition to less discussion with partners, bonobos are also not victims of violence for nutrition. Quite the contrast – they choose to share. In an explanatory experiment, it was left a row of bonobos single outside in a room with fresh fruit and a little door in the room by scientists. The first monkey always chose to permit the second without fail, though they had never known each other before. Chimpanzees consume everything themselves when given the exact opportunity.

Not surprisingly, these friendly monkeys also exhibit some important physical traits commonly seen in tamed animals. They have tinier, less obvious faces and jaws and smaller, less stiff teeth. It is also had by them a more diverse pigmentation, with pink lips and a lock of bright-colored hair even when completely matured.

And like tamed foxes, who indicate symbols of connection and collaboration abilities are bonobos. When shown with a collaborative duty – a puzzle that includes two monkeys concurrently stretching the strings to win prizes – for example, that can fast work collectively are bonobos. But chimpanzee cousins ​​seldom make the exact thing.

The thing that appears to show that bonobos have gone through an inherent method similar to taming is these different physical features and more egalitarian action, but a savage process. Their achievement as a kind is powerful proof that in some circumstances it should be evolutionarily beneficial to develop features such as friendship and collaborative social abilities.


Chapter 4 – What appears to have preferred intimacy is personal evolution.


It is walked down by you on the street when a foreigner is passing by. You don’t recognize him but his smooth, gentle face makes him look dependable and dependable. He’s the kind of person you’ll ask for regulations if you require aid. Such friendly faces are found everywhere. However, why?

What is not only random or external is our appearance. The exact reverse. Thanks to the contours and dimensions of the contemporary human face, it is pointed to some serious shifts in our brains. Don’t forget how Belyaev’s Siberian foxes switched their physical characteristics as they became more adorable? Our ancient ancestors may have gone through the exact method.

In the fossil document, it is demonstrated that old individual evolution may also have chosen intimacy – and the proof is written whole over our faces.

Contemporary people, a humanoid species named Homo sapiens, are currently the predominant primates on the planetoid. But, as late as 50,000 years ago, we weren’t completely single. There were at least five other hominid classes on earth. Yet as time passed, we gained and became the most accomplished breed. What got us the benefit?



In one hypothesis, it is conducted that our ancient ancestors were self-tamed. That is, evolutionary pressure favored more friendly people. However, how do social abilities get us a benefit over our close cousins? Increased subsistence permits people to interact more efficiently; creates denser, more stationary social structures; and collaborating to improve novel technologies. It made our kind of friendship and society more solid.

It has been discovered by scientists investigating this phenomenon that convincing proof that the growth of Homo sapiens matched with a similar increase in friendship. Think about this: thanks to testosterone that is a hormone linked to competition and aggression, it also contributed to certain facial properties such as prominent brow ridges and chins. When we indicate the fossil document, it is seen by us that as human beings become more accomplished, the ordinary brow bump and jaw shrank significantly. This shows a connection between risen sociability and the improvement of our kinds.

Other physical symbols of tamed are also found in contemporary faces. For example, when contrasting human eyes to chimpanzee eyes, it will be seen by you that just in ours there are white areas named sclera. This lack of pigmentation is a different side impact of opting for intimacy. But it is also a helpful social cohesion. Thanks to white sclerae, it is made simple to understand where someone is seeing, an important vehicle for interpersonal connection.


Chapter 5 – What developed to create strong social connections even with aliens is our minds.


Sparkling lights, noisy music, flowing dance, and an intensive, unavoidable want to embrace all insight. These are some of the recognized side impacts of unlawful ecstasy usage. Seldom mentioned as MDMA, this drug is famous in raves, taverns, and different hedonistic civil environments. It is simple to comprehend why. As taking a dose fills, the brain fulfills with serotonin and oxytocin, two chemicals strictly connected to weal, pleasure, and extra positive feelings.

It is forbidden to purchase ecstasy in most domains. But, for human beings who luckily search for positive vibes, evolving has made it potential to obtain serotonin and oxytocin in an old-fashioned form. Just look toward someone’s cores.

As people became more friendly, powerful social ties became a necessary vehicle for survival. As a result, there are obvious advantages to living in stationary, cooperative social situations. Let’s examine the Hadza society in Tanzania. This group of hunter-gatherers has led to sustaining their society for generations through mutual change. It is shared by hunters as their kills, gatherers spread their rewards, and in conclusion, everyone gets sufficient of it.



Well, how are personal bonds created? One approach is through chemicals such as oxytocin. Thanks to this neurohormone, it is altered the brain by confusing the amygdala, the part of the brain that prepares warnings and risks. When the amygdala slows down, the individual becomes clearer to getting closer to others. In case, research indicates that human beings dosed with oxytocin present greater empathy and are more sensitive to the feelings of others.

In people, what is designed directly during social encounters is oxytocin. For example, after birth, both moms and babies are overwhelmed with this chemical to assist solidify the familial link. But oxytocin is also freed when people meet newcomers. Just looking at a different individual’s eye is sufficient to stimulate this chemical in the mind. Consequently, it is shown ready by human beings for positive social connections.

What assists our kinds to create social arrangements far beyond our direct family is this dynamic. In essence, it admitted the creation of a novel kind of social class that was foreign in-group. This is someone you don’t identify individually but still act as part of your organization. Hometowns, cities, and domains – whole the big societies we trust – are potential thanks to our friendship within-group aliens.

Nevertheless, a dark side to this link, which will be examined in the following section by us, is found.


Chapter 6 – What can get strangers to appear less human is our powerful social ties.


Our natural closeness to cooperation and friendship has assisted our kinds to raise over happiness. Hitherto, although our ancestors trusted each other to persist, our family is not independent of conflict and fighting. Think about Rachel’s tale.

Rachel, who was born in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, hailed from the Banyamulenge society, a small ethnic group identified as Africa’s Black Jews. While her teen-ages were nonviolent, in her later life, she was faced with marred by harsh battles. During the nineties, the Banyamulenge individuals were regularly marginalized and overwhelmed by other governmental and ethnic clubs. The fear peaked in 2004 when an external rioter group kicked Rachel’s emigrant camp and killed her whole family.

At initial sight, in this dark story, it appears to undermine our comprehension of personal friendship. However, this harsh severe is linked to the exact evolutionary pressures that get us polite.

Although Rachel’s story is disturbing, not matchless. What is that human story is full of examples of severe, battle and genocide is the sad fact. However, how can we comprehend these barbarian urges without leaving our idea of friendship as an evolutionary benefit?

To begin, it should be looked at by us at the disadvantage of building powerful social links. While our mind’s sympathy for oxytocin supports us to empathize with other parts of our group, there is an ugly side impact. What also makes mammals more offensive to aliens recognized as a warning is oxytocin. To take the picture, think how a mama bear will intently pamper her babies and violently attack any suspicious-looking animal nearby.



Hence, people are subjected to the contrasting treatment of strangers who are understood as a member of their group, while assisting and encouraging strangers. This is partly because our minds arrest strangers with the more limited theory of mind. This defines us to use less time sympathizing with the ideas, senses, and experiences of out-group members. At the neurological level, we act towards them as fewer people.

What is also being at the cultural level is found in this phenomenon. When a strong group puts pressure on another, they frequently represent the outsiders as non-personal animals. This is sometimes named alchemy and is evident in everything from propaganda sheets to discriminatory insults. What serves to ignite the inherent aim to hate foreigners is these depictions.

Even if it is, severe is not inescapable. As empathizing among groups, it is potential to nurture shared human senses that stimulate our best impulses.


Chapter 7 – It can be developed by us that tolerance through close, daily connection with others.


In 1941, in Poland. By the Nazis, it is engaged in horrible things like taking Jewish families into subhuman ghettos. Most of the domestic human beings are intimidated by the occupying powers and do small things to slow the process. But, by Andrzej Pitynski, it was denied to stand lazy.

Although Pitynski is not Jewish, he risks his life to hide nutrition from those in requirement. Even after being arrested and punished, he and his wife worked without tire to save the Jewish individuals throughout the battle.

What performs the Pitynsky and thousands of other heroes like them so dedicated to assisting a society that others have so simply dehumanized? According to sociologists Pearl and Samuel Oliner, what shared a general point is that most of these resistances. All of them had close associations with their Jewish next-door-neighbor.

The dehumanizing powers that guided the holocaust did not be destroyed. Unluckily, there are still human beings determined to hate and oppress those who are seen as foreigners all over the globe. A notable instance is alternative right-wing ideas. By these individuals, it has gotten high on Social Domination Orientation measures, indicating they assume certain groups like racial minorities are intrinsically inferior.



How can a community prevent the spread of such dangerous views? Some claim that human beings with backward faiths should be violently suppressed. But what can backfire is this approach. Don’t forget, people aim to dehumanize strangers when they sense frightened. Increasing this sense of vulnerability can raise this obvious hate.

What is a better path can be to create more gaps for non-threatening communications among groups. What corrodes the negative emotions that foster hatred is positive and daily social communication. For example, it has been observed that college students randomly select roommates with various racial backgrounds, and are much more patient with racial distinctions later in life. Besides, in the 1940s, white citizens of segregated neighborhoods were much more possible to promote extra segregation.

Provided that we desire to prevent our communities from drifting towards hostility, it must be ensured by us that human beings make contact along with whole kinds of demographic lines. Currently, towns and cities in the United States are frequently spatially separated. There are wealthy fields and poor spaces, white hometowns, and Black hometowns.

Nevertheless, it can be started to regain this established separation by deliberately switching towns to encourage interaction by Americans. It is significant to finance more mixed-revenue housing improvement, build more whole public spaces and break down the physical boundaries that hold human beings separate. In brief, it is significant to build towns where human beings comprehend the whole of their neighbors.


Chapter 8 – What reflects the way we treat per other is our process of animals.


During the Second Congo War, environmentalist Claudine André had an obstacle. Kinshasa, her hometown, was below offense. Each day, the falling thing was bombs. What was tough was getting clean water and stable electricity. Above all, André must deal with a dozen bonobos in these difficult situations.

Although it wasn’t simple, André worked hard to keep the weak monkeys alive and felicitous. It allowed them to live in her home and drove them into a secluded forest every day to play and socialize with her. She founded dozens of Kindness Clubs after the battle. In these little refugees, local kids can meet bonobos and find out about their lives.

Why did André desire kids to meet bonobos? For her the idea was basic. It can block another battle. Providing that kids find out to respect and love animals; it is more possible to look after each other.

So long as our kinds survived, individuals lived with different animals. It was also seen by the animals as a family, even though we frequently used them for nutrition and as employees. Our love for animals is proof even in our routines. All over the globe, it has been discovered by archaeologists that early burial sites where our ancestors slept with their dog friends.

When it is considered our private social connections with animals, it shouldn’t be shocking that individuals who nurture between kinds of friendships are more able to show affection to other humans as well. It was studied for this dynamic by psychologists Gordon Hodson and Kristof Dhont. It was observed by them that individuals who associated more ideas and senses to animals also got higher on tolerance measures.



An extra study led by Brian Hare and his master student Wen Zhou saw this phenomenon even more nearly. In one examination, it was asked by scientists that human beings would commit that some breeds of dogs are intrinsically better than others. Those who perceived the fact in the comment also marked high on the Social Dominance Orientation measures. That is, they also supported hierarchies in the personal community.

How we view the animal globe and how we relate to other beings has suggestions for how we view per other. Maybe, providing that we find out to develop a nurturing approach towards whole nature, we are more able to benefit from our most excellent power, our potential for friendship.


Survival of the Friendliest: Why We Love Insiders and Hate Outsiders, and How We Can Rediscover Our Common Humanity by Brian Hare, Vanessa Woods Book Review


It was human beings who by nature became a social species. Throughout history, our talents to survive have been linked to improving social abilities, person-to-person connection, and together supportive societies. Unluckily, our tendency to connect with those close to us can also get us wary of strangers who threaten us. To build a more nonviolent globe, it must be tried by us to make friends with those nearby us, even if they look distinctive on the surface.


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Savaş Ateş

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