The Happy Mind by Kevin Horsley [Book Summary – Review]

While there is no lack of how-to guides for earning money and exploring celebrity and wealth, they tend to exclude one very significant element of these guides: what to do when all that cash and achievement still makes you feel blank and unfulfilled.

Someone with an infinite amount of cash may also be sad with his/her life, and that may be wondered by you, but as explained by the writer of this book plus Louis Fourie who is also a writer, money is not a messenger of joy. Besides, it is cash, celebrity, admiration, prizes, and the latest cars, clothes, and gadgets that bring nothing but a fleeting feeling of joy under the guise of pleasure.

Money and shiny new toys, that money can buy, must be looked beyond by us to discover sustainable and meaningful happiness. On our part, by us, it must be researched within ourselves and not overlook the steps we can take to switch our perspective of the globe around us and what makes life truly valued. Going forward, several hints and methods to assist you to enhance a happy mind and a happier life will be discovered by you.

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Chapter 1 – Although it is believed by many that felicitousness relies on outside factors, it is not.

What would you think providing that one person enquired you for describing felicitousness? Although it is regarded by many individuals that types and whatever felicitousness is comprehended by us, the notion gets blurry if you quit considering it. Come on and glance nearly at what happened and for glancing provided that it might be pinpointed what isn’t by us. 

It is a common misunderstanding that happiness relies upon outer agents like either tangible products or incidents. By human beings, it is tended for affiliating with felicitousness cum names such as cars, resorts, roads, plus sex spouses, or times that signal either an individual or expert victory.

They just ensure fleeting enjoyment’s minutes and this reason is a common point. Consequently, who has the impacts of their felicitousness relies on other individuals or in any case that an event will happen in the future is all humans.

Once the felicitousness of you is inseparably linked with outside factors, it is not ideal that there isn’t found an authority upon the felicitousness of you at this place plus present by you.

To look tough for glancing that adjustment does not mean sustainable good joy is not needed by you. Besides, if you revert furthermore toward outside resources, the level of your delight becomes lower.

It has been lived by human beings for thousands of years under the wrong hypothesis that they could purchase happiness if they had sufficient money. Still, many studies show that rich individuals become only so unhappy as others.

Once the normal individual makes money, it is done to purchase all the luxuries that are harnessed to the greater existence: great homes, luxury cars, huge televisions plus tape decks. However, these things not only miscarry for gaining permanent delightfulness, but they extra cause individuals to be in debt. The financial pressure that arises can leave a person more anxious and depressed than they were before purchasing all of the ornate child’s play.

However, as seen in the next section by you, money is not just one stuff individuals make mistakes as a resource of happiness.

Chapter 2 – It is happiness that does not exist during either the following times or the old times plus is not delivered by others.

Although it is a great gift, it is a life that is far from awesome. On any normal day, we could face sickness, heartbreaks, an unexpected financial disaster, or any number of worrying situations.

We frequently use activities that lead us out of the present as a way to avoid these tough moments. If happiness is researched by you, insofar as happiness can only be discovered right now, this escape method is a fault.

It is logic that states that when your mind is not concentrated on the present, you are either thinking about the past or dreaming about the future. These are common areas as it’s easy to imagine getting an awesome job, going on a perfect date, or winning the lottery to give off your student debts. Other times, you might be worried about something stuck in the past, stuck in memories of better days, or something sad that you wish you hadn’t said at the corporate picnic last weekend.

Wasting time in the past or the future looks particularly preferable if there are continuing problems here and now. Because that’s where life experience takes place, you can only discover happiness right now.

Besides wasting a lot of time in the past or future, expecting other individuals to bring happiness with them when they enroll in your life is another common trap. It is thought by many individuals: If only I could meet that perfect Miss or Mr. Right, everything would be in peace!

Well sure, when that perfect person shows up, what unavoidably discovers by them that happiness does not magically arise. Rather than understanding that other human beings are not the switch to satisfaction, it is decided by them to add another individual to the mix: If only we had a kid, then everything would be perfect!

No matter how vigorously you believe that the key to your happiness is another person, the truth is that no lover, friend, or kid will be able to provide you with the constant and lasting happiness you search. Such peace of mind can only be achieved by going deep inside and discovering it within itself.

Chapter 3 – What is distinct from pleasure is happiness, and people’s common features are to be happy.

If you have a sweet tooth, a yummy Godiva chocolate bar becomes your opinion for felicitous. Although chocolate is tasty, because of this kind of thinking, another common mistake is reflected: mixing pleasure with happiness.

Fleeting experiences, such as money or tangible goods, that will never contribute to a satisfying or lasting state of happiness are pleasurable emotions. This does not mean that there is anything wrong with pleasure or that we should not felicitate and enjoy it. However, by you, it must be recalled that pleasure is an emotion and therefore unstable; in the ranges of life, feelings of pain and discomfort will be found and equalized.

On the other side of the coin, happiness can be continued and experienced independently from the changing situations of your life. In other words, happiness can be approximately constant as long as you stay right now and focus your attention on the positive. Thanks to this way, it is likely to sustain content and happiness in life even if emotions of pain and disturbance are found.

It may be wondered by you, how is this possible? This type of sustained happiness can be achieved by being aware of your emotional state and embracing the experience of life as it occurs. Suppose you feel lonely. Rather than quickly turning on the TV to escape from this feeling, stay there and accept loneliness as a completely natural feeling. If you relax and adjust to yourself, you will discover that there can be the stability of happiness as well as fleeting loneliness.

While rules or shortcuts that work for everyone do not appear, some common points have been obtained by the writers in those who lead to keep their happiness.

By happy individuals, appreciating the simple things in life is beginning to tend: they will appreciate the picturesque view and admire a good night’s sleep. By them, jobs that they find motivating and interesting are owned, and they care about their health and prosperity.

Furthermore, happy people are happy because they are on their own, which means they tend to be picky about whom to give time with. The individuals whom they allow in as friends or partners are supportive, unlike bad companies that unhappy people often maintain. If you consider that you will be happier if you have more people in your life, you may be more eager to be friends with some shady characters.

Chapter 4 – Unhappiness and detrimental actions are things that can be triggered by fears of survival.

Anymore, according to us, it is about a better idea of ​​the nature of happiness, let’s take a peek at the other side of this sentimental coin and see the distinct reasons why we are unhappy.

It is one of the enigmas that occupy modern researchers why so many human beings who live a wealthy life with plenty of money and creature comforts remain unhappy. One proposal is that behind this misery is survival fears.

Looking at the neurological connections of the modern human brain by evolutionary psychologists reveals many primitive relationships that are still active.

It is a significant part of our brain improvement that takes place in or before the stone age – when living rates are comparatively low and we demand all the mental help we can get. The greatest threats to survival were expulsion from the tribe or loss of access to resources. Both experiences could simply have been a death penalty.

It is our survival flair these days that keep going to be triggered by threats to our social standing or the possible loss of valuable resources such as money. If a colleague acts cold to us, or if his/her phone bill abruptly doubles, by us, it may be felt as a life-threatening panic that is not necessarily guaranteed by the relatively benign problem at hand. However, as we inevitably face many of these social or financial problems throughout our days, we may experience stable stress and restlessness in addition to general unhappiness.

Is it shocking that we act in compulsive actions aimed at calming our nerves because of all these daily worries? On the other hand, ironically, this kind of behavior – like eating junk food – tends to be much more detrimental than a workmate’s cold shoulder.

Our fears are so strong that it is an attempt to escape them that can guide long-term harm and unhappiness, like when we are staying with an insulting or manipulative partner. Our wish to join even someone evil for us is directly related to our instinctive desire to escape release and our fear of being left to look after ourselves.

After all, your happiness can be hurt if your instincts are made to believe that this is a matter of life or death by you. Unluckily, most of these pains are unnecessary these days.

Chapter 5 – It is also treatable, although childhood trauma can raise the possibility of chronic unhappiness.

If you meet someone who is in constant fear, you may consider the impulse to tell them to get out of it. If they get out of bed and get some sunlight, they’ll begin to feel better, won’t they?

Just because this type of reply works for you when you’re upset, doesn’t mean it will run for someone whose earlier experiences have driven them into more chronic sadness.

A persistent depressive tendency can appear in the outcome of childhood trauma.

If a person has experienced a traumatic event in their past, particularly if it happened within the first six years, this can significantly raise the intensity of instinctual fears and give information about how that individual will react to rejection or famine.

For this reason, what can greatly affect how an individual reacts to general stressful conditions of daily life is the quality of parenting during these formative years. If their parents gave no-strings love and courage at an early age, their parents’ outlook on life would be completely distinctive from the abusive, absent, or emotionally inaccessible person. Not being loved as a kid can be very traumatic – the impacts can last a lifetime.

Nevertheless, this does not add up that human-beings with a traumatic childhood will be upset.

While trauma is linked to the inherent answer system of the mind, it responds to the globe with more anxiety, but other eras of the brain, such as the neocortex, suggest hope. The thing that is at the core of our sentimental and cognitive smart as well as our conscious decision making and allows us to receive novel information and select our responses is the neocortex.

Let’s observe someone with earlier trauma. Once they get into a financial hole, their survival fears can begin to accelerate. If the neocortex takes some time to do its job, it can put the problem in perspective and find a solution, rather than letting the instinctual response take over. You may prefer to find a better monthly budget instead of being afraid.

The power of the neocortex depends on its use, meaning the more it is used, the stronger it is. Talking to an expert can also help; It is the therapists who can assist us switch our perspective and positively see things.

Chapter 6 – What depends on us is to be happy, and it assists when you do a plan.

Cash is what we can waste, borrow, loan to each other, or save for a rainy day. However, it is happiness that is not what we can get or borrow from another person. When you desire more happiness, you know where to look, and it’s within yourself, the only area.

Things that are above your control are found such as stock market ups and downs. However, how you react to these ups and downs in life is entirely under your control. You must accept that this is entirely your responsibility, as you cannot discover happiness from outside sources.

In simple words, you cannot expect the globe to switch and a bright and happy universe to meet your expectations. To switch your perspective, you have to observe yourself. Dream the search for happiness as a step-by-step process where you can work moment to moment with optional therapy backup.

By taking the time to design and sustain a solid life plan, happiness can improve you. As it’s so simple to get caught up in daily, time-consuming exertions that you never discover the right and peaceful moment to create a clear plan for your life. At the end of each day, spend some time on your schedule, even if it’s just thirty minutes, to concentrate peacefully on your plan and think about what’s the ideas with your life.

What should involve clear targets for all aspects of your life, including personal, expert, and leisure time is your plan. Thinking through these, ask yourself: Is there too much stress in a special field and not sufficient time to spend on hobbies? Is there too much sitting around and getting sufficient revenue?

With a plan implemented, your energy will be directed by you where it is demanded most so that you can take responsibility for your happiness and welfare. Even if you should still concentrate on staying grounded in the right now, you will have the comfort of knowing where you are going and what needs to be done when you put your plan into motion.

Chapter 7 – You can use daily gratitude practice and hold everything novel and interesting to be felicitous.

There is an old proverb: “What you have will not be appreciated by you until you lose it.” Let’s think about losing completely everything: your belongings, friends, and loved ones – even your health and freedoms such as visiting and voting. You miss them, don’t you? Now dream of getting every of these back slowly.

How much gratitude would be sensed by you?

You don’t have to miss anything to feel grateful for everything you have. What should be something you experience each day as it is a powerful way to bring more happiness into your life is gratitude. Ultimately, why would you desire more in life if you’re never grateful for what you’ve got?

You can get a daily habit of being grateful for the good things in life. Preparing a list of what you currently have and are grateful for is a good way to get things begun. Pay attention not to miss common things that are often considered natural.

What is taken lightly by many individuals is their health. But they recall how lucky they are to be able to live a life independent from limiting health problems after being treated for flu or another disease.

Plus, don’t forget to jot down little, glad moments in life, like buying the excellent avocado in the store or crossing paths with the stranger who has a nice smile and keeps the door open for you.

Escaping falling into the mundane routine by keeping things novel and interesting is another useful practice.

When your life goes into a monotonous routine, you guarantee that nothing novel and exciting will happen. What is easy is forgetting that there is a large and exciting globe to explore even in your neighborhood! Let the purpose of your effort be to shake things up often.

When walking to work, try various routes from time to time. Be sure you discern the globe around you. What will animate your wonder and open your feelings to the globe, all of which are good for encouraging higher levels of happiness is to take an exploratory attitude towards life.

Chapter 8 – Weal is what can be discovered by throwing away unnecessary things and avoiding nonsensical purposes.

Imagine living in a villa with expensive furniture, five bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a huge kitchen and courtyard, how would you feel? But what if you were charged with keeping all rooms, rugs, furniture, and fixtures clean, then how would you feel? How about protecting that great courtyard and its perfect garden?

Having too many objects can quickly turn into a stressful headache, as it brings along many responsibilities. No wonder it is found by many human beings’ happiness by going the other way and permitting go of what they don’t require.

Do you see a lot of mess when you look at your home? Are your wardrobes full of clothes you never thought of wearing again? Are your shelves so full of scrap that you can no longer see the things that make you cheer?

Spare some time to distribute your belongings and escape the mess that turns a happy room into a glaring one. Not only will you explore more areas, but books and clothes that bring you joy will be better appreciated by you to discover. This process can take place in any room of your home and should apply to everything from furniture and kitchen utensils to ornaments and gadgets.

While you’re there, consider how you can distract your mind.

When we are freed from undesired emotions such as annoying jealousy that a friend has experienced due to the recent good luck, being happier will be sensed by us. Accept them when they come to the surface, and then make a conscious decision to set them free is necessary to let go of these unpleasant thoughts. It may take several trials for them to eventually show up, and it may be desirable for you to consider therapeutic assistance to make these efforts more effective.

In the research of happiness, it is also deserving of being careful in ways to withdraw disappointment.

This can be simply accomplished by you when you set targets that are overly avid and out of reach. Well sure, you have to attempt to be the best in job and life and hone your abilities for that to happen. However, if your purpose is to play the cello better than Yo-Yo Ma in five years, your aim can be too high, and failure to reach your purpose could ruin your happiness of playing the instrument.

Chapter 9 – Abstain overexposure to the news media and bloating disproportionate things.

Do you ever notice yourself to feel nervous and anxious as you navigate a news stream full of articles on political conflicts, violence, corruption, and discrimination? Although it’s significant to be informed, the best perspective on the globe isn’t all-time presented in your feed.

Besides, what should restrict your exposure for keeping hold happy is too negative media altogether.

In many media organizations, the news is given a negative or excessive side to gain more attention. It is known by all that the public has a negative prejudice, which means that we concentrate on a negative rather than a positive report. Primitive survival impulses are the reason for this. Similarly, to abstain from a terrible fate, we had to listen when someone mentioned a friend who was eaten by a crocodile.

It is the media that unblushingly exploit our individual’s vulnerability for bad news and disproportionately neglect good things to concentrate on the bad. Consequently, it is simple to look at the news to feel anxious and sad because it appears like there is nothing but suffering everywhere.

Luckily, you can block the media from switching your feelings to manipulate. What is a fresh start is knowing this purposeful imbalance. It also assists you to be careful about what news sources you allow and avoids exposure to, particularly unstable sources.

Eventually, what you should come to attention is your inclination to create drama and sweep things out of proportion.

Imagine that your partner isn’t very well at cleaning, so what can you do? After coming home, a very tough day, by you, it can be told that you’re tired of how messy they are – it is a symbol of how little they respect you. Things are heating up fast and you have a big discussion before you even know it. One thing directs to another, and the consequence is an unnecessary test of a loving and healthful relationship.

There is a healthfuller perspective that should be appropriate for this situation. What should not be forgotten by you is that various human-beings have distinctive opinions about what constitutes an illogical confusion; Not doing certain chores is not inevitably a symbol of selfish action. Next time your loved person does something disturbing, don’t forget all the loving things he has done lately. Although maintaining any relationship is a difficulty, remembering good things in mind will assist you to keep cheerful.

The Happy Mind: A Simple Guide to Living a Happier Life Starting Today by Kevin Horsley, Louis Fourie Book Review

It is our happiness in our own hands. Yet it is preferred by people to search for happiness from outside sources such as cash, gadgets, and relationships rather than looking inside. Permanent happiness will not come from these things over which we have no authority- it can only come from within. To maintain happiness, we must stick to the present and have a positive view of the globe. We must develop gratitude. To overcome our fears of instinctive survival, we must plan and concentrate on realistic future aims that make sure sustainable happiness in our personal and expert lives. By concentrating on wealth and personal fulfillment rather than property and power, we can try to see the beauty around us and reach peace and happiness.

Write in a bullet journal.

It is very well and good to prepare a plan for a viable path to happiness. However, each day brings with it the potential for distraction, such as the Netflix TV shows you’ve been waiting for, as well as surprises that could guide you astray.

Keeping a bullet journal, which is basically a calendar that permits you to prepare daily targets such as exercising, meditating, and reading is the solution here. Then each duty can be checked when completed, and it can be felt by you that the warmth and happiness, and the glow of being able to see all you’ve succeeded at the end of each month.

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